'Matrimonial Stakes', originally transmitted on BBC1, 1 January 1972
An interviewer asks members of the public about marriage. A vicar values
marriage at £15. Hettie tells the story of her engagement before making a pass
at the interviewer. An Irish labourer celebrates 21 years since his wife ran off
with his best friend. Clarence is still waiting for Mr Right. A traffic warden
explains that, according to motorists, his parents weren't married either.
'Ton-up Boy' prefers his bike, while Mandy, who is to marry next week,
misunderstands the interviewer's questions, pushes him on the shoulder and walks
off.
Two women from the Last Chance Marriage Bureau, dressed identically, await
their blind dates. One of them recounts her previous dates, which have been
selected by a computer. They mention the names of their dates and realise the
computer has matched them together.
A man dressed for a wedding mistakenly throws confetti and shouts
congratulations as a coffin is carried out.
A Registry Office waiting room. A young couple wait to be married and a
window cleaner jokes with the groom about his impending doom. He wishes them
good luck. Another couple enter: Wal and his intended: a very tall woman. Wal is
a friend of the window cleaner but before he can explain why he is going to get
married, the bride's mother arrives to stop the wedding. Wal helps his friend
clean the windows.
The groom asks the chimney sweep for a good luck kiss. He obliges by kissing
him instead of the bride.
A newly married couple sign a life policy payable on the demise of either one
of them. They attempt to kill one another by numerous devices including a
display cabinet and some home-made wine. To celebrate one month together they
exchange gifts - a sky-diving course and a set of duelling pistols. The woman
nearly shoots the man. They agree to cancel the policy. He goes out to the car
while she goes to the kitchen. There are two explosions, and both return with
tattered clothes and pass out.
A Bridal Suite. The groom enters and the bride beckons him to the bed. He
walks straight into a full-length mirror.
Lord and Lady Croborough are filing for divorce. His Lordship's butler,
Lampwick, is called as a witness against her Ladyship. He confuses matters by
explaining that his Lordship's wife on the Isle of Man will divorce him if she
finds out about the court case.