The pilot of a passenger plane behaves like an aggressive driver as he awaits take-off.

Bob Schultz, a tough-looking man, is avoided by other people because he stinks.

A Brigadier claims bullying never did him any harm. Then he smiles lecherously, lifts his baton and moves towards a young soldier.

Gus, presenter at the Outer Hebridean Broadcasting Corporation, shows viewers how to get a hangover by pouring alcoholic drinks into a bucket.

A battered wife describes her fortnight of bliss eating chips and reading Jackie Collins novels while her husband is in jail.

A tramp bathes by waiting for a car to drive through a big puddle.

A shopper checks a box of eggs to make sure they are perfect before putting them in his trolley, then thoughtlessly dumps a bag of potatoes on them.

An animal rights activist hits a rodent with a hammer after it bites him.

A man undergoing an eye test at an opticians realises the letters are telling him that prices have been raised.

An estate agent spends his day off putting little signs in plant pots.

A drunken 'Sloane Ranger' speaks of her fondness for Scotland, because everything is Scottish, even the people. She would like to be Scottish, as she thinks she would be good at it, since all it involves is writing letters to the Daily Record about trivial matters.

Rab C. Nesbitt begins a diatribe about cookers but digresses on to the subject of headbutting the man who works at the benefits office.

A passer-by breaks the guitar of a busker then collects change from a grateful audience.

Siadwel's ghost appears floating next to his coffin. Siadwel is in heaven, having drunk himself to death. There are a few people from his hometown around, but Jesus remains elusive. Siadwel realises his family have gone to the funeral, leaving him behind.

A man sits in bed reading a book about Glasgow Rangers; his wife leans over and asks him to make love to her, but he points out he just has.

A supermarket check-out girl asks a customer if he has anything smaller, when he hands her a 50p coin for an item costing 49p.

A mock documentary describes the rise of the 'Whites', a style of music born of suburban boredom.

A man tells a hair stylist he is happy with his new haircut, then shoves his head in a puddle.