(Episode aired on 26th January 1998)

Sketch One: The Kapoors (pronounced Cooper) and another couple bump into each other at the new tennis club which they want to become members of.

Sketch Two: Showbiz guide Smita Smitten, Showbiz Kitten, takes us to the premiere of the new Bollywood film in town.

Sketch Three: At a children's party an English girl and an Indian boy are asked to perform party pieces to entertain the other children and parents.

Sketch Four: The first disaster date. A man having dinner with a woman buys a rose from the rose-seller and tells his date that it's for the girl he is seeing afterwards.

Sketch Five: A Buddhist from a pest-control agency has alternative ideas on how to eliminate a woman's mouse infestation.

Sketch Six: A bearded Muslim with long white hair, a door-to-door salesman, knocks on a woman's door offering literature on Krishna, Rama, and Shiva.

Sketch Seven: A spoof of Farewell my Lovely and the film noir genre. A rich femme fatale comes to the office of a shady accountant to ask him to doctor her books.

Sketch Eight: The two "tennis player" couples arrive at reception to join the Conservative Party.

Sketch Nine: Master Chef from Bangalore hosted by real-life television host, Loyd Grossman.

Sketch Ten: In a hospital, a nurse is excited that her doctor (a Buddhist) has created an antibody that kills cancer cells.

Sketch Eleven: "Things you can do when the kids ain't around", a celebratory song and dance in Broadway musical style by an Indian husband and wife whose daughter has recently got married and left home.

Sketch Twelve: The second disaster date. The man takes another woman to a restaurant. He tells her of his disapproval of women feeling under pressure to be thin, to look good and says that what's so great about his date is that she makes no effort at all.

Sketch Thirteen: The Bhangramuffins are on a train talking excitedly about the wonders of Eurostar.

Sketch Fourteen: A new member of staff for a magazine called 'British Asian Man's Quarterly' comes to meet his new colleagues and is struck by their antiquated ideas for the upcoming issue.

Sketch Fifteen: The third disaster date. The man takes an English girl to a restaurant. When she feeds him an oyster, he vomits on her lap.

Sketch Sixteen: An aristocratic woman comes to India to visit a rural Punjabi couple to find out how the "poor" live. She ends up buying everything in the house for £2,000.