Keith and Candice Marie Pratt are trying to get away from the hustle and bustle of their home in Croydon. They have travelled to Dorset to spend 10 nights with nothing but canvas between them and the stars. Keith is an organiser for pensioners' holidays and has planned his holiday in much the same way as he does in his day job.
Keith has planned each day's events, refusing to budge from his itinerary, and when Candice Marie asks to look at the guide book he refuses to hand it over, telling her that he will read it out to her.
It is not long before their dreams of peace are shattered with the arrival of Ray who pitches his tent feet away from the Pratts and drowns the tranquillity of the countryside by playing his radio at full blast. Keith confronts Ray about his insistence on polluting the countryside with his noise and demands that he turn his radio off. When Ray refuses Keith decides to move their tent further away from him.
Candice Marie befriends Ray, much to the annoyance of Keith, who starts to show signs of jealousy, but invites him over to try and keep the peace.
Just as everything is starting to settle down and Keith is beginning to relax, a couple arrive from Birmingham, Finger and Honky, who have very little experience of camping and have no intention of following Keith's advice on sticking to the country code.
Tempers fray as Finger and Honky disturb Keith and Candice Marie's sleep by making too much noise. But it is when Finger starts to light a fire, flouting the campsite rules, that Keith takes matters into his own hands and threatens to make a citizen's arrest. Things quickly get out of hand and Keith attacks Finger in a fit of rage. When he realises what he has done Keith disappears off into the woods crying.
Keith reappears sometime later and informs Candice Marie that they are leaving. The Pratts pack up their equipment and head off in search of another campsite.
As it begins to get dark they seek permission from a farmer to camp on his land. Here they are alone at last in a pig field and can finally enjoy the peace and quiet they have been looking for.
