'The Last Resort - Series 1, Episode 4' (originally transmitted on BBC1, 10/8/2000)

Reminded that it will soon be Susan's fortieth birthday - again - Ben solicits ideas as to how to celebrate. Michael suggests a foot spa, while Nick (possibly with an ulterior motive) proposes a satellite dish, but Janey informs her father that what Susan really wants is a romantic break. He reluctantly books himself and his wife into the bed & breakfast where they spent a weekend of passion 22 years before.

The trip gets off to a bad start when Ben and Susan lose their way following Susan's insistence that they take 'the scenic route'. They arrive too late to eat, and after requesting their old room, number 7, discover that it is next door to a noisily amorous couple.

At home, Janey and Nick battle over which of them can go out for the evening - she has a date, while he wants to go to the pub. Michael, seeing an opportunity to profit from the situation, extorts money from his sister in return for Janey leaving him on his own to meet her boyfriend.

Ben and Susan soon realise that their intended rekindling of happy memories is turning into a literal wet weekend. Local attractions include a butterfly farm, a shoe museum and a dolphinarium with an empty tank, and most of the original staff have either died or ended up in prison. In the dining room they make the acquaintance of an older couple, Joan and Peter Pickering, who turn out to be the sexually exuberant pair from number 6.

Seeking to escape what he terms this 'sinkhole of despair', Ben begins work on a jigsaw in the bar, only to discover that half the pieces are missing. He starts chatting with Joan and Peter, and they share a few drinks together. Meanwhile, Susan learns from another guest that the Pickerings are in fact notorious weekend swingers...

Susan goes down to the lounge to find a partially inebriated Ben blissfully unaware that he is in the process of being picked up - at least until Joan starts playing footsie with him under the table. The Harpers take refuge in their room, where they fake noisy sex to get their own back on their neighbours.

They return to a suspiciously tidy home, but their children's attempt to present a seemly, united front soon descends into squabbling - prompting Ben and Susan to head back to the car...